Post by AWG Staff on Dec 2, 2007 21:53:42 GMT -5
Name: King Jack Daniels
AKA: The Absolute, God's Favorite, and the King of Zing.
Height: 6'5" (6'9" with the crown.)
Weight: 266 LBS of body mass + 4 LBS. of manhood = 270 LBS.
D.O.B.: December 25, 1970
Hometown: Climax, Minnesota
Entrance Theme: "King of Kings" by Motorhead
Entrance: The Jack Daniels logo appears on the screen as Lemmy, lead singer of Motorhead, opens the video saying: "Behold the King...the King of Kings." With a burst of laughter Lemmy goes into the first chorus of "Bow down to the...bow down to the King!..." and the Jack Daniels logo explodes off the screen as a montage of images from King Jack Daniels career jiggle across the screen like the fat on the back of an obese woman's leg. He arrives onto the stage along side him his valets, Sugar and Spice. Both ladies are dressed only in lingerie. Sugar is a vuluptuous blonde with a gorgeous face, fantastic thighs, and gigantic tits. Spice on the other hand is a firecracker of a diva, wearing mostly black with beautiful black hair and plump cherry-red lips. She's an absolute succubus with tits just as big, if not bigger than Sugar's. Walking behind King Jack they present their heiness to the masses as he smirks waltzing to the ring with a seven foot golden staff in his right hand, a long red robe and a four inch golden crown upon his head. In his video specific clips of King Jack low-blowing most of his competitors, or shoving a live rat down the throat of a diva, or tea-bagging Joey Falcone are shown Well, it's all on there in one amazing montage. Also heard in sound-bytes is King Jack saying "The Absolute...God's Favorite...The King of Zing...King Jack Daniels!" His music continues as his royalty climbs the steps. Sugar and Spice hold the ropes open for him but leave it to the pre-pubescent fans to drool as the two follow him by bending into the ring and fluffing their pooders in the adolescents
direction. In the center of the ring King Jack has his robe removed by the referee. Spice falls to her knees and begins rubbing his right leg with her hands as Sugar sticks her tongue in and out of King Jack's ear. He's dirty like that, he'll suck a toe if the hoe asked for it. With the fans cheering for King Jack, he then asks politely for his kind mistresses to exit the ring while he awaits his lowly opposition and his music lightly fades.
Wrestler Type: An all-American traditionalist and pure powerhouse.
10-15 common moves:
(In no specific order)
1. Dirty Manuevers: Eye Gouge, Face Rake, Back Rake, Mouth Stretch, Nostril Pull, Ear Pull, Hair Pull, The Testicle Claw (Known in Selat as the Tiger's Claw), The Ultimate Ass-Spank, and use of a ton of weapons including his golden staff, crown, etc.
2. Multiple versions of boxing punches, jabs and hooks.
3. Multiple versions of kicks, knees, and anything else you could possibly do with a leg.
4. Suplexes: Belly-to-Belly, German, Double Underhook, Verticle, Fisherman's.
5. Turnbuckle Manuevers: Polish Hammer, Missile Drop-Kick, Cross-Body-Drop.
6. Irish Whip Manuevers: Spinning Elbow, Flying Eye-Gouge (He leaps toward the oncoming opponent and pokes them in the eyes with his index and middle finger), Big Boot, Toe-Hold Takedown, and of course Irish Whips can easily be manipulated into any suplex, etc, etc, be creative and crafty.
7. Reversals: Sunset Flip, School-Boy Pin, Pinfall Package, Single-Front Low-Blow, and anything else that's crafty and can be manipulated into a reversale.
8. Submissions: Judas Cradle (AKA: Walls of Jericho), The King Jack Rack (AKA: Torture Rack, but it's only held for a few seconds and done usually early on in the match to apply early pain to the opposition.)
5 or so Big Moves:
(In no specific order)
1. "The Heretics Fork" (AKA: Emerald Flowsion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGt8LaQkLag) )
2. "KISS THE RING!" (AKA: The F-5 ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYCslcCeZuU))
3. "CrOWNED" (AKA: Brainbuster ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Jq5Uj_8FZ4) )
4. "Human Throne" (AKA: Vertebreaker (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tREltxa2lo))
5. "The Hickory-Nut Crunch" (AKA: With the opposition on its back King Jack spreads their legs and stomps a mud-hole into their crotch, about five stomps. This is not just for males but females as well. If anyone is willing to get into the ring with King Jack then they're willing to feel the pain of the Hickory-Nut Crunch.)
Set-Up:
"Bow Down" (AKA: An overwhelming super Adam Vinatieri sized kick straight to the oppositions testicles, or ovaries for that matter.)
Finisher:
"The Coup De'tat" (AKA: Once completeing the dasterdly 'Bow Down' set-up manuever King Jack grabs the opponent and delivers what is known in the wrestling world as the "Shouten" ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNod9wmk_8U&feature=related))
Finisher in Hardcore/Violent Matches:
"The Holy Roman Shot of Jack" (AKA: Same set-up, followed by an impaler DDT ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xYkW-HDlYo) onto a steel chair covered in thumbtacks and barbed wire.)
Profile/History: King Jack Daniels had high hopes when he walked into the office of Joey Falcone a year and a half ago. He knew he was in for a wild ride when the pimply faced, pencil-neck geek that sat behind the mahogony desk punched him in the face with a fistful of lies. It only took King Jack one hour to get canned from American Championship Wrestling and to this day Mr. Falcone has never told a single soul about his and King Jack's encounter. What happened on that bright and sunny day in Liarsville, Jokelahoma, was a confrontation that rocked Uncle Joey's world. When Mr. Falcone told King Jack he had been in the business (OOC: E-Fedding to the late person) since 1989 King Jack choked on a cube of cheddar cheese and then began laughing with force powered by his four pound meatloaf tucked behind a tight pair of leather slacks. King Jack jumped from his seat and pointed his index finger in Falcone's direction and called him out. "You LIE!" King Jack said. Much to his dismay Falcone answered how King Jack knew he'd answer. "I don't lie," Joey replied, "I've been in the wrestling game since 1989 and I am one of the greatest promoters you'll ever meet." That was enough for the King because he knew right away that this was not going to work. Instead of kissing Falcone's ass so that he can get somewhere King Jack realized he could easily tell this greasy dego to eat an ass. He understood there'd be other jobs, especially when he was a regular on the hit television sitcome "Will and Grace." King Jack grabbed the contract off of Falcone's desk and little Joey looked as smug and happy as a little child after he's realized his wee feels funny when he wiggles it. However, Joey was further surprised when King Jack pulled down those tight leather pantaloons and immediately wiped his swamp-filled ass with the ACW contract. Throwing the contract covered in dry ass-rash onto Falcone's desk King Jack pulled up his slacks and walked toward the door, but not before leaving with a bang. "Try to plagiarise that!" He said. He then walks out the door.
Description: (Used to create poser) Have you ever seen the movie "Ready to Rumble?" Yeah, I know it was an awful movie. Well, if you know the movie and remember the WCW World Heavyweight Champion in the movie, Jimmy King, then that's what King Jack Daniels looks like. It's pretty much picture perfect. He's played by Oliver Platt.
Personal Info...
Other SN's:
AIM - ApotheosisExhile & tragedyTVjunkie
AKA: The Absolute, God's Favorite, and the King of Zing.
Height: 6'5" (6'9" with the crown.)
Weight: 266 LBS of body mass + 4 LBS. of manhood = 270 LBS.
D.O.B.: December 25, 1970
Hometown: Climax, Minnesota
Entrance Theme: "King of Kings" by Motorhead
Entrance: The Jack Daniels logo appears on the screen as Lemmy, lead singer of Motorhead, opens the video saying: "Behold the King...the King of Kings." With a burst of laughter Lemmy goes into the first chorus of "Bow down to the...bow down to the King!..." and the Jack Daniels logo explodes off the screen as a montage of images from King Jack Daniels career jiggle across the screen like the fat on the back of an obese woman's leg. He arrives onto the stage along side him his valets, Sugar and Spice. Both ladies are dressed only in lingerie. Sugar is a vuluptuous blonde with a gorgeous face, fantastic thighs, and gigantic tits. Spice on the other hand is a firecracker of a diva, wearing mostly black with beautiful black hair and plump cherry-red lips. She's an absolute succubus with tits just as big, if not bigger than Sugar's. Walking behind King Jack they present their heiness to the masses as he smirks waltzing to the ring with a seven foot golden staff in his right hand, a long red robe and a four inch golden crown upon his head. In his video specific clips of King Jack low-blowing most of his competitors, or shoving a live rat down the throat of a diva, or tea-bagging Joey Falcone are shown Well, it's all on there in one amazing montage. Also heard in sound-bytes is King Jack saying "The Absolute...God's Favorite...The King of Zing...King Jack Daniels!" His music continues as his royalty climbs the steps. Sugar and Spice hold the ropes open for him but leave it to the pre-pubescent fans to drool as the two follow him by bending into the ring and fluffing their pooders in the adolescents
direction. In the center of the ring King Jack has his robe removed by the referee. Spice falls to her knees and begins rubbing his right leg with her hands as Sugar sticks her tongue in and out of King Jack's ear. He's dirty like that, he'll suck a toe if the hoe asked for it. With the fans cheering for King Jack, he then asks politely for his kind mistresses to exit the ring while he awaits his lowly opposition and his music lightly fades.
Wrestler Type: An all-American traditionalist and pure powerhouse.
10-15 common moves:
(In no specific order)
1. Dirty Manuevers: Eye Gouge, Face Rake, Back Rake, Mouth Stretch, Nostril Pull, Ear Pull, Hair Pull, The Testicle Claw (Known in Selat as the Tiger's Claw), The Ultimate Ass-Spank, and use of a ton of weapons including his golden staff, crown, etc.
2. Multiple versions of boxing punches, jabs and hooks.
3. Multiple versions of kicks, knees, and anything else you could possibly do with a leg.
4. Suplexes: Belly-to-Belly, German, Double Underhook, Verticle, Fisherman's.
5. Turnbuckle Manuevers: Polish Hammer, Missile Drop-Kick, Cross-Body-Drop.
6. Irish Whip Manuevers: Spinning Elbow, Flying Eye-Gouge (He leaps toward the oncoming opponent and pokes them in the eyes with his index and middle finger), Big Boot, Toe-Hold Takedown, and of course Irish Whips can easily be manipulated into any suplex, etc, etc, be creative and crafty.
7. Reversals: Sunset Flip, School-Boy Pin, Pinfall Package, Single-Front Low-Blow, and anything else that's crafty and can be manipulated into a reversale.
8. Submissions: Judas Cradle (AKA: Walls of Jericho), The King Jack Rack (AKA: Torture Rack, but it's only held for a few seconds and done usually early on in the match to apply early pain to the opposition.)
5 or so Big Moves:
(In no specific order)
1. "The Heretics Fork" (AKA: Emerald Flowsion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGt8LaQkLag) )
2. "KISS THE RING!" (AKA: The F-5 ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYCslcCeZuU))
3. "CrOWNED" (AKA: Brainbuster ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Jq5Uj_8FZ4) )
4. "Human Throne" (AKA: Vertebreaker (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tREltxa2lo))
5. "The Hickory-Nut Crunch" (AKA: With the opposition on its back King Jack spreads their legs and stomps a mud-hole into their crotch, about five stomps. This is not just for males but females as well. If anyone is willing to get into the ring with King Jack then they're willing to feel the pain of the Hickory-Nut Crunch.)
Set-Up:
"Bow Down" (AKA: An overwhelming super Adam Vinatieri sized kick straight to the oppositions testicles, or ovaries for that matter.)
Finisher:
"The Coup De'tat" (AKA: Once completeing the dasterdly 'Bow Down' set-up manuever King Jack grabs the opponent and delivers what is known in the wrestling world as the "Shouten" ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNod9wmk_8U&feature=related))
Finisher in Hardcore/Violent Matches:
"The Holy Roman Shot of Jack" (AKA: Same set-up, followed by an impaler DDT ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xYkW-HDlYo) onto a steel chair covered in thumbtacks and barbed wire.)
Profile/History: King Jack Daniels had high hopes when he walked into the office of Joey Falcone a year and a half ago. He knew he was in for a wild ride when the pimply faced, pencil-neck geek that sat behind the mahogony desk punched him in the face with a fistful of lies. It only took King Jack one hour to get canned from American Championship Wrestling and to this day Mr. Falcone has never told a single soul about his and King Jack's encounter. What happened on that bright and sunny day in Liarsville, Jokelahoma, was a confrontation that rocked Uncle Joey's world. When Mr. Falcone told King Jack he had been in the business (OOC: E-Fedding to the late person) since 1989 King Jack choked on a cube of cheddar cheese and then began laughing with force powered by his four pound meatloaf tucked behind a tight pair of leather slacks. King Jack jumped from his seat and pointed his index finger in Falcone's direction and called him out. "You LIE!" King Jack said. Much to his dismay Falcone answered how King Jack knew he'd answer. "I don't lie," Joey replied, "I've been in the wrestling game since 1989 and I am one of the greatest promoters you'll ever meet." That was enough for the King because he knew right away that this was not going to work. Instead of kissing Falcone's ass so that he can get somewhere King Jack realized he could easily tell this greasy dego to eat an ass. He understood there'd be other jobs, especially when he was a regular on the hit television sitcome "Will and Grace." King Jack grabbed the contract off of Falcone's desk and little Joey looked as smug and happy as a little child after he's realized his wee feels funny when he wiggles it. However, Joey was further surprised when King Jack pulled down those tight leather pantaloons and immediately wiped his swamp-filled ass with the ACW contract. Throwing the contract covered in dry ass-rash onto Falcone's desk King Jack pulled up his slacks and walked toward the door, but not before leaving with a bang. "Try to plagiarise that!" He said. He then walks out the door.
Description: (Used to create poser) Have you ever seen the movie "Ready to Rumble?" Yeah, I know it was an awful movie. Well, if you know the movie and remember the WCW World Heavyweight Champion in the movie, Jimmy King, then that's what King Jack Daniels looks like. It's pretty much picture perfect. He's played by Oliver Platt.
Personal Info...
Other SN's:
AIM - ApotheosisExhile & tragedyTVjunkie