Post by Sage Christensen on Dec 12, 2007 20:40:11 GMT -5
I know this board is intended for AWG rps, but seeing as the boards have been slow today I thought I'd post probably my favorite rp that I have ever written. It's from a fed called ICE and was my first RP after winning the major singles title and turning face. To clear up possible confusion, my character is Shane Alexander aka the undisputed truth aka the universal badass, donnovan midas is shane's tag partner and shelly is his manager, the other names mentioned are just various other wrestlers in the fed. Hope yall enjoy and mgmt., if yall would rather just have AWG only rps on this thread let me know.
Shane Alexander is a wanted man these days.
These fans want me…for some reason.
It would appear as if since the departure Joel Kurtiss they’ve been missing someone to rally behind, a good honest champion to be a role model for their kids. Well the Universal Badass isn’t very good with kids, and he isn’t very honest either, but he IS the champion, quite possible the greatest of all time and is seems like all those people that fill the arenas each week have finally learned to recognize talent.
Ice wants me.
Not only does he want the belt that rests firmly over my massive shoulder, he needs to validate himself. If he could just take out Shane Alexander he could finally prove…well something. Since day one Ice hasn’t done crap, he’s the posterboy for a waste of talent. Hell, I’ll say it, the man has talent, not nearly as much as me, but talent none the less. What he doesn’t have is a clue. He can walk out there week in and week out and light up the microphone with his rants that stopped being funny ages ago because there’s only so many times you can refer to one man going down on another before people start to question what you do with your spare time but none of that changes the fact that he has yet to prove crap in the ring. People constantly ask me, “Shane, are you worried about finally having to face Ice one on one in the ring?”, and my answer is always the same, hell no because he has to make it there first. I’ve already started the pool on how long it is before he disappears into failure again and I’m sitting on some pretty hot squares.
Apparently every wrestler that was luckily enough to open a PPV wants me.
Seriously who the hell are Brian Taylor and Matt Franklin? That was a rhetorical question because I know WHO they are, I’ve been laughing at the fact that they’ve been calling me out for two weeks now, but in the sense of accomplishment who the hell are they? Nobody, that’s who. I’m a headliner, no, THE headliner, while those two are lucky to be on any line. They hyped up a suckfest at Destiny over a belt I couldn’t even give away that supposedly “stole the show” when all it stole was money from hard working ICE fans that paid to see REAL athletes.
And of course Kaz Sato has made it known he wants me too.
I’ll give that last statement a moment to sink in.
………..insert moment…………
Yes, Kaz Sato has his cross hairs set on Shane Alexander and his “special hairs” in a twist. Now Kaz, I saw your promo the other day and I have to say, you got me pegged all wrong. I don’t walk around like there’s nothing awaiting me tomorrow night because there is, I’m going to be the first guest on the return of Keeblers Korner. Not only that, but I have an ongoing poker game Sunday Nights with Donnovan, Shelly, and whichever stage hands look like they have enough money worth taking. Yes, Sunday will be a big day for me.
You also got something else wrong.
In what world would I ever possibly fear you, I’m the champ, the king of the mountain, the Undisputed Truth, I fear nobody. Twice now Ice has tried to end my career, but I don’t fear him. C2 spent almost 2 years trying to hold me down, I don’t fear him. Mike Franklin…wait, I mean Matt Franklin is an Olympic gold medallist and I sure as hell don’t fear him. Now I know you’re a little different, the other people I have mentioned have had more than ten minutes of airtime in the last month, but make no mistake I do not fear you, not a little bit, not at all. You can claim to be this violent relentless hard-ass but who have you taken out, Ian Rollins? What did he ever do worth noticing? You ALMOST took out Derek Hardaway, but guess who actually accomplished that task, yep, Shane Alexander.
To be the best you have to beat the best…
Well I am the best and even if you did beat me, which we all know isn’t going to happen, you would still be nothing more than you are right now. Hate to say it Kaz but your career has gone so far off the deep end that yes, even beating the Universal champion wouldn’t resurrect it. You plan on using me as a stepping stone but the next step is awfully high up there and you’re just a little too short, figuratively and literally of course.
The beating of my life…
I’ll go ahead and stop you because I’ve heard that one before. In case you weren’t watching Destiny I won this Universal title in one of the most epic, hard-fought matches of all time. I’ll give Tanabashi credit, he took me way farther than I could have ever imagined, he literally took me to the edge of complete exhaustion, but as everyone can see, it wasn’t enough. Going through something like that changes a man. There isn’t one thing or a million things you could do in that ring to recreate what I went through at Destiny, you just don’t have it in you, you didn’t in 2005 and you sure as hell don’t now. It’s a shame you have fallen so far off, in your prime this might have been a match worth watching, now it’s nothing more than a tune-up.
There’s one more truth that needs to be exposed…
Come focused Sato, come hungry, pissed off and ready, because you said that when you’re on you’re a-game there isn’t an SOB on the roster that can beat you and I intend on disproving that with thunderous authority. If you really were that unstoppable then perhaps you would be the one going into this match as the champ and I’d be the one with the competitive fire in his eyes, but that’s not the case. Prepare yourself, because tomorrow night the truth comes out.
Now where were we? That’s right, when we last left the badass and his friends they were enjoying a relaxing day at the zoo, they had made their way to the house of reptiles because Shane wanted to check out the snakes, unfortunately there was someone there that wanted to check out Shane. As the three enter into the darkened room they are oblivious to a man standing in the shadows near some poisonous frogs or something that nobody really cares about. They make a v-line to the encaged anaconda.
Donnovan Midas: You know I can relate to this guy, well at least part of me can.
Shelly: Why’s that, you feel trapped sometimes?
Donnovan’s smirk penetrates the dimly lit room
Donnovan Midas…no…
Shelly’s face lights up as she catches on.
Shelly: Just when I thought you were going to show some depth, of course it’s just another penis joke.
Shane Alexander: Man I’d hate to run into that thing in the wild.
Shelly: Donnovan’s penis?
Shane Alexander: The freaking snake you twit.
Shelly: Oh yeah, I’d hate to run into any snake in the wild.
Donnovan Midas: How about a trouser snake?
Shelly: That’s it.
Shelly raises her fist and starts to move closer to Donnovan, deciding to roll with it and play along Donnovan starts taking off down a little hallway as she follows him, leaving the Undisputed Truth alone. Shane appears to have dazed off and is just staring off through the glass at the massive reptile, that is until a glass bottle breaks over his head. Instantly the champ falls to the ground and clutches his head, when he checks his hand it’s covered in blood. He looks up to identify his attacker and his eyes widen with surprise.
Shane Alexander: Jake Roberts?
A drunken Jake Roberts to be exact. The former WWF superstar is still holding the broken neck of the bottle in his hand and seems to be having a hard time staying on his feet. He’s grown a bit fatter and a bit shaggier since the last time anyone saw him.
Jake Roberts: That’s Jake “The Snake” Roberts to you boy. I used to be like you, I had it all, talent, money, women, and now look at me I’m nothing.
Shane Alexander: Well I can’t argue with that
Shane is still holding the back of his head and is sitting on the floor leaning against the wall.
Jake Roberts: But that’s all about to get better, I’ve found a way to get my career back. You are the Universal champion of ICE, not the top of the world but still much better off than I am.
Shane Alexander: What the hell does this have to do with me?
Jake picks up a back that has been laying at his feet and starts untying the rope around the opening while Shane still hasn’t made it back to his feet yet.
Jake Roberts: If I kill you, I become you.
A look of bewilderment comes across Shane’s face as he finds out just how drunk “The Snake” is.
Shane Alexander: You’re freaking nuts, lay off the booze this isn’t the highlander.
But it’s too late, Roberts has opened the bag and we quickly find out what’s inside. A rather large Snake shoots out of the bag and sinks it’s fangs into Shane’s arm, much like the situation with the macho man back in the early 90’s. Shane immediately yells out in pain.
Jake Roberts: Don’t worry, it’s bite won’t kill you, then the snake would become the champion and I’d still be a washed-up alcoholic nobody, no, the snakes venom will just paralyze you so you can’t stop me.
And the toxin worked quick because before Roberts was done talking Shane had already found himself unable to move, which was most unfortunate for him because the WWF legend had just pulled a rather large pocket-knife, probably illegal to have in most states that aren’t Texas because we roll big like that, out of his pants.
Jake Roberts: Don’t worry, this won’t hurt, I mean it would, but I don’t think I have to explain about the snake bite again.
Shane can do nothing but stare, he can’t move his mouth to talk, or more importantly to scream for help, he can’t use his strength to easily get up and kick Roberts’ ass like he should, he can barely think now.
Jake Roberts: Hello fame and fortune, Jake Roberts is back bitches!!!
And then Shane felt a sharp poke in his side, but it wasn’t a knife, it was a pen. He snapped out of his daze and looked down to see a kid, maybe ten or eleven with a pen in one hand and a napkin in the other. Shane looked around, there was no Jake Roberts around, Donnovan and Shelly were still gone and most importantly he hadn’t been bitten by a paralyzing snake. He did a double take and looked back at the kid.
Kid: Mr. Shane, you didn’t answer me, can I please have your autograph? You’re like my favorite wrestler, I always pretend I’m you when we wrestle in the front yard.
Shane thinks about it for a second as he does usually have a strict no autographs policy, especially for crap-head little kids. He takes a look around, Donnovan and Shelly are still missing, there’s nobody with a camera in sight and the room is dim enough the he doubts anyone would see…
…and he signs it.
The kids face lights up.
Kid: Aww, thank you so much, my friends will nev…
Shane Alexander: Beat it kid, I gotta catch up with some people.
Shane shakes off his random good deed for the year and begins to walk down the hallway, meeting up with the Golden god and that crazy bitch not too far down.
Donnovan Midas: What happened to you Shane, you fell behind.
Shane Alexander: I had the weirdest daydream, Jake “The Snake” Roberts was drunk and tried to become Universal champ by killing me.
Donnovan Midas: You mean kind of like the whole highlander thing?
Shelly: Am I the only person that HASN’T seen that movie.
Shane Alexander: Yeah, it was creepy, then right when he was about to stab me I snapped out of it and some little kid was poking me with a pen for an autograph.
Donnovan Midas: Haha, did you throw his ass into the anaconda pit?
Shane Alexander: Haha, I should have, but you know my policy, no autographs, unless I’m signing some chicks rack, then it’s ok.
Donnovan Midas: As always.
Shelly: You guys are pigs. Lets get out of here, apparently this place is doing weird things to Shane.
Shane Alexander: Agreed.
Donnovan Midas: What the hell were we thinking going to the zoo anyways, lets hit a club, unwind before Throwdown.
And the scene fades out as the three superstars head towards the door marked “exit”. Behind them, keeping his distance but still in awe of his favorite wrestler of all time stands the little kid, clutching the autographed napkin as close to him as possible.
Much like the highlander in ICE there can be only one…
One champ, one face that defines our entire roster, one that stands above all the rest, and that man is me. While the title isn’t on the line Sunday night Kaz Sato becomes the first to challenge my legacy as the greatest of all time. This belt is like a giant bulls-eye, I’ve been champion for two weeks and already every ICE superstar and their mother has tried to claim that they can take me down. My only reply, shut up and do it. I’ve never been one to turn down a challenge. As always, Shane Alexander is right here, you think you can disprove the truth, all you need do is step up to the line. From the Matt Caines of this business all the way to the Ices and the Tanabashis, I’ll one by one put every single one of them down.
And that’s what sets Shane Alexander apart.
Look at Kayleigh, she defended her title against one challenger and was dethroned, Kurtiss was the same albeit by a special circumstance. Those days are long past, this title has finally found a final resting place and that’s around the waist of the Undisputed Truth. It’s time to move ICE into a new era and who better to captain this ship that myself. I’m not a LAW reject, some over-hyped free agent from AC Botts’ past, I’m just a man…well a man and a half…with the talent and ability to revolutionize this business as we know it. This isn’t the High Society era, or even the FaZe FouR era, we have entered the Shane Alexander era…
…and as Kaz Sato will find out tomorrow night, my rule is absolute.
Shane Alexander is a wanted man these days.
These fans want me…for some reason.
It would appear as if since the departure Joel Kurtiss they’ve been missing someone to rally behind, a good honest champion to be a role model for their kids. Well the Universal Badass isn’t very good with kids, and he isn’t very honest either, but he IS the champion, quite possible the greatest of all time and is seems like all those people that fill the arenas each week have finally learned to recognize talent.
Ice wants me.
Not only does he want the belt that rests firmly over my massive shoulder, he needs to validate himself. If he could just take out Shane Alexander he could finally prove…well something. Since day one Ice hasn’t done crap, he’s the posterboy for a waste of talent. Hell, I’ll say it, the man has talent, not nearly as much as me, but talent none the less. What he doesn’t have is a clue. He can walk out there week in and week out and light up the microphone with his rants that stopped being funny ages ago because there’s only so many times you can refer to one man going down on another before people start to question what you do with your spare time but none of that changes the fact that he has yet to prove crap in the ring. People constantly ask me, “Shane, are you worried about finally having to face Ice one on one in the ring?”, and my answer is always the same, hell no because he has to make it there first. I’ve already started the pool on how long it is before he disappears into failure again and I’m sitting on some pretty hot squares.
Apparently every wrestler that was luckily enough to open a PPV wants me.
Seriously who the hell are Brian Taylor and Matt Franklin? That was a rhetorical question because I know WHO they are, I’ve been laughing at the fact that they’ve been calling me out for two weeks now, but in the sense of accomplishment who the hell are they? Nobody, that’s who. I’m a headliner, no, THE headliner, while those two are lucky to be on any line. They hyped up a suckfest at Destiny over a belt I couldn’t even give away that supposedly “stole the show” when all it stole was money from hard working ICE fans that paid to see REAL athletes.
And of course Kaz Sato has made it known he wants me too.
I’ll give that last statement a moment to sink in.
………..insert moment…………
Yes, Kaz Sato has his cross hairs set on Shane Alexander and his “special hairs” in a twist. Now Kaz, I saw your promo the other day and I have to say, you got me pegged all wrong. I don’t walk around like there’s nothing awaiting me tomorrow night because there is, I’m going to be the first guest on the return of Keeblers Korner. Not only that, but I have an ongoing poker game Sunday Nights with Donnovan, Shelly, and whichever stage hands look like they have enough money worth taking. Yes, Sunday will be a big day for me.
You also got something else wrong.
In what world would I ever possibly fear you, I’m the champ, the king of the mountain, the Undisputed Truth, I fear nobody. Twice now Ice has tried to end my career, but I don’t fear him. C2 spent almost 2 years trying to hold me down, I don’t fear him. Mike Franklin…wait, I mean Matt Franklin is an Olympic gold medallist and I sure as hell don’t fear him. Now I know you’re a little different, the other people I have mentioned have had more than ten minutes of airtime in the last month, but make no mistake I do not fear you, not a little bit, not at all. You can claim to be this violent relentless hard-ass but who have you taken out, Ian Rollins? What did he ever do worth noticing? You ALMOST took out Derek Hardaway, but guess who actually accomplished that task, yep, Shane Alexander.
To be the best you have to beat the best…
Well I am the best and even if you did beat me, which we all know isn’t going to happen, you would still be nothing more than you are right now. Hate to say it Kaz but your career has gone so far off the deep end that yes, even beating the Universal champion wouldn’t resurrect it. You plan on using me as a stepping stone but the next step is awfully high up there and you’re just a little too short, figuratively and literally of course.
The beating of my life…
I’ll go ahead and stop you because I’ve heard that one before. In case you weren’t watching Destiny I won this Universal title in one of the most epic, hard-fought matches of all time. I’ll give Tanabashi credit, he took me way farther than I could have ever imagined, he literally took me to the edge of complete exhaustion, but as everyone can see, it wasn’t enough. Going through something like that changes a man. There isn’t one thing or a million things you could do in that ring to recreate what I went through at Destiny, you just don’t have it in you, you didn’t in 2005 and you sure as hell don’t now. It’s a shame you have fallen so far off, in your prime this might have been a match worth watching, now it’s nothing more than a tune-up.
There’s one more truth that needs to be exposed…
Come focused Sato, come hungry, pissed off and ready, because you said that when you’re on you’re a-game there isn’t an SOB on the roster that can beat you and I intend on disproving that with thunderous authority. If you really were that unstoppable then perhaps you would be the one going into this match as the champ and I’d be the one with the competitive fire in his eyes, but that’s not the case. Prepare yourself, because tomorrow night the truth comes out.
Now where were we? That’s right, when we last left the badass and his friends they were enjoying a relaxing day at the zoo, they had made their way to the house of reptiles because Shane wanted to check out the snakes, unfortunately there was someone there that wanted to check out Shane. As the three enter into the darkened room they are oblivious to a man standing in the shadows near some poisonous frogs or something that nobody really cares about. They make a v-line to the encaged anaconda.
Donnovan Midas: You know I can relate to this guy, well at least part of me can.
Shelly: Why’s that, you feel trapped sometimes?
Donnovan’s smirk penetrates the dimly lit room
Donnovan Midas…no…
Shelly’s face lights up as she catches on.
Shelly: Just when I thought you were going to show some depth, of course it’s just another penis joke.
Shane Alexander: Man I’d hate to run into that thing in the wild.
Shelly: Donnovan’s penis?
Shane Alexander: The freaking snake you twit.
Shelly: Oh yeah, I’d hate to run into any snake in the wild.
Donnovan Midas: How about a trouser snake?
Shelly: That’s it.
Shelly raises her fist and starts to move closer to Donnovan, deciding to roll with it and play along Donnovan starts taking off down a little hallway as she follows him, leaving the Undisputed Truth alone. Shane appears to have dazed off and is just staring off through the glass at the massive reptile, that is until a glass bottle breaks over his head. Instantly the champ falls to the ground and clutches his head, when he checks his hand it’s covered in blood. He looks up to identify his attacker and his eyes widen with surprise.
Shane Alexander: Jake Roberts?
A drunken Jake Roberts to be exact. The former WWF superstar is still holding the broken neck of the bottle in his hand and seems to be having a hard time staying on his feet. He’s grown a bit fatter and a bit shaggier since the last time anyone saw him.
Jake Roberts: That’s Jake “The Snake” Roberts to you boy. I used to be like you, I had it all, talent, money, women, and now look at me I’m nothing.
Shane Alexander: Well I can’t argue with that
Shane is still holding the back of his head and is sitting on the floor leaning against the wall.
Jake Roberts: But that’s all about to get better, I’ve found a way to get my career back. You are the Universal champion of ICE, not the top of the world but still much better off than I am.
Shane Alexander: What the hell does this have to do with me?
Jake picks up a back that has been laying at his feet and starts untying the rope around the opening while Shane still hasn’t made it back to his feet yet.
Jake Roberts: If I kill you, I become you.
A look of bewilderment comes across Shane’s face as he finds out just how drunk “The Snake” is.
Shane Alexander: You’re freaking nuts, lay off the booze this isn’t the highlander.
But it’s too late, Roberts has opened the bag and we quickly find out what’s inside. A rather large Snake shoots out of the bag and sinks it’s fangs into Shane’s arm, much like the situation with the macho man back in the early 90’s. Shane immediately yells out in pain.
Jake Roberts: Don’t worry, it’s bite won’t kill you, then the snake would become the champion and I’d still be a washed-up alcoholic nobody, no, the snakes venom will just paralyze you so you can’t stop me.
And the toxin worked quick because before Roberts was done talking Shane had already found himself unable to move, which was most unfortunate for him because the WWF legend had just pulled a rather large pocket-knife, probably illegal to have in most states that aren’t Texas because we roll big like that, out of his pants.
Jake Roberts: Don’t worry, this won’t hurt, I mean it would, but I don’t think I have to explain about the snake bite again.
Shane can do nothing but stare, he can’t move his mouth to talk, or more importantly to scream for help, he can’t use his strength to easily get up and kick Roberts’ ass like he should, he can barely think now.
Jake Roberts: Hello fame and fortune, Jake Roberts is back bitches!!!
And then Shane felt a sharp poke in his side, but it wasn’t a knife, it was a pen. He snapped out of his daze and looked down to see a kid, maybe ten or eleven with a pen in one hand and a napkin in the other. Shane looked around, there was no Jake Roberts around, Donnovan and Shelly were still gone and most importantly he hadn’t been bitten by a paralyzing snake. He did a double take and looked back at the kid.
Kid: Mr. Shane, you didn’t answer me, can I please have your autograph? You’re like my favorite wrestler, I always pretend I’m you when we wrestle in the front yard.
Shane thinks about it for a second as he does usually have a strict no autographs policy, especially for crap-head little kids. He takes a look around, Donnovan and Shelly are still missing, there’s nobody with a camera in sight and the room is dim enough the he doubts anyone would see…
…and he signs it.
The kids face lights up.
Kid: Aww, thank you so much, my friends will nev…
Shane Alexander: Beat it kid, I gotta catch up with some people.
Shane shakes off his random good deed for the year and begins to walk down the hallway, meeting up with the Golden god and that crazy bitch not too far down.
Donnovan Midas: What happened to you Shane, you fell behind.
Shane Alexander: I had the weirdest daydream, Jake “The Snake” Roberts was drunk and tried to become Universal champ by killing me.
Donnovan Midas: You mean kind of like the whole highlander thing?
Shelly: Am I the only person that HASN’T seen that movie.
Shane Alexander: Yeah, it was creepy, then right when he was about to stab me I snapped out of it and some little kid was poking me with a pen for an autograph.
Donnovan Midas: Haha, did you throw his ass into the anaconda pit?
Shane Alexander: Haha, I should have, but you know my policy, no autographs, unless I’m signing some chicks rack, then it’s ok.
Donnovan Midas: As always.
Shelly: You guys are pigs. Lets get out of here, apparently this place is doing weird things to Shane.
Shane Alexander: Agreed.
Donnovan Midas: What the hell were we thinking going to the zoo anyways, lets hit a club, unwind before Throwdown.
And the scene fades out as the three superstars head towards the door marked “exit”. Behind them, keeping his distance but still in awe of his favorite wrestler of all time stands the little kid, clutching the autographed napkin as close to him as possible.
Much like the highlander in ICE there can be only one…
One champ, one face that defines our entire roster, one that stands above all the rest, and that man is me. While the title isn’t on the line Sunday night Kaz Sato becomes the first to challenge my legacy as the greatest of all time. This belt is like a giant bulls-eye, I’ve been champion for two weeks and already every ICE superstar and their mother has tried to claim that they can take me down. My only reply, shut up and do it. I’ve never been one to turn down a challenge. As always, Shane Alexander is right here, you think you can disprove the truth, all you need do is step up to the line. From the Matt Caines of this business all the way to the Ices and the Tanabashis, I’ll one by one put every single one of them down.
And that’s what sets Shane Alexander apart.
Look at Kayleigh, she defended her title against one challenger and was dethroned, Kurtiss was the same albeit by a special circumstance. Those days are long past, this title has finally found a final resting place and that’s around the waist of the Undisputed Truth. It’s time to move ICE into a new era and who better to captain this ship that myself. I’m not a LAW reject, some over-hyped free agent from AC Botts’ past, I’m just a man…well a man and a half…with the talent and ability to revolutionize this business as we know it. This isn’t the High Society era, or even the FaZe FouR era, we have entered the Shane Alexander era…
…and as Kaz Sato will find out tomorrow night, my rule is absolute.