Post by Dollar McDougal on Nov 11, 2007 3:40:24 GMT -5
Dollar McDougal sits in a skybox by himself as the New Jersey Nets host (and lose to) the Boston Celtics. Next to him, with a microphone, and a cameraman, is local sports reporter Dan Griese. He speaks to McDougal.
Dan Griese: Dollar McDougal, it's great to see you here in New Jersey. I was just...
McDougal cuts him off.
Dollar McDougal: Yeah, well, it's not great to BE IN New Jersey! This place is a dump! I mean it...the entire state. It's like one great big junkyard. The least they could do is drag this team across the river and out of this d**n swamp.
Dan Griese: Dollar, we are live right now, broadcasting to thousands of New Jersey viewers...
McDougal grabs the microphone out of Griese's hands and shoves him away, standing up.
Dollar McDougal: You think that matters to me, Greaseball? Of course not! I'm Dollar Mc-friggin'-Dougal! I'm the greatest professional wrestler...the greatest professional ATHLETE alive today! I just think it's a d**n shame that I have to go into this giant dumpster to see the Big Three. And look at how they're destroying the Nets. They're making the Nets look like the rest of this state - garbage.
McDougal sits back down and hands the microphone back to Griese. Griese, a little flustered, continues.
Dan Griese: Yes, well, I guess we're all entitled to our opinions.
Dollar McDougal: Well, not really, Dan. You see...only Dollar makes sense.
Dan Griese: Yeah...we've heard that one before, Dollar. And I'm sure we'll hear it all again. I understand that you and the rest of the AWG - the Authentic Wrestling Gods, that is - have signed on with a company to promote the AWG as its very own entity. Its very own company. Is that correct, Dollar?
McDougal grins and looks into the camera.
Dollar McDougal: Absolutely. The time came, the price was right, and the AWG will be starting up really soon. But that's not all, O Danny Boy. I want you to spread something around to the rest of your media hacks.
Dan Griese: And what's that, Dollar?
Dollar McDougal: This Tuesday - in Boston, Massachusetts - the home of the AWG - I, Dollar McDougal, will be holding a very special press conference.
Dan Griese: A press conference?
Dollar McDougal: That's right. A press conference. And at said press conference, I will have a very special announcement that EVERYONE will want to tune in for. This announcement will pertain to the AWG's very first event, Divine Intervention. And it will change EVERYTHING that people think they know about it.
Dan Griese: Sounds like a lot to live up to...
Dollar McDougal: Just tell everyone to show up to the press conference there, Greaseball. This is going to make history. And this is going to guarantee that Dollar McDougal walks out of Divine Intervention the first ever official AWG World Champion!
McDougal smiles as the final buzzer goes off, signaling yet another win for the Boston Celtics.
Dollar McDougal: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to congratulate the team.
Tuesday, November 13
Dollar McDougal's Press Conference
3:00 PM EST
Dan Griese: Dollar McDougal, it's great to see you here in New Jersey. I was just...
McDougal cuts him off.
Dollar McDougal: Yeah, well, it's not great to BE IN New Jersey! This place is a dump! I mean it...the entire state. It's like one great big junkyard. The least they could do is drag this team across the river and out of this d**n swamp.
Dan Griese: Dollar, we are live right now, broadcasting to thousands of New Jersey viewers...
McDougal grabs the microphone out of Griese's hands and shoves him away, standing up.
Dollar McDougal: You think that matters to me, Greaseball? Of course not! I'm Dollar Mc-friggin'-Dougal! I'm the greatest professional wrestler...the greatest professional ATHLETE alive today! I just think it's a d**n shame that I have to go into this giant dumpster to see the Big Three. And look at how they're destroying the Nets. They're making the Nets look like the rest of this state - garbage.
McDougal sits back down and hands the microphone back to Griese. Griese, a little flustered, continues.
Dan Griese: Yes, well, I guess we're all entitled to our opinions.
Dollar McDougal: Well, not really, Dan. You see...only Dollar makes sense.
Dan Griese: Yeah...we've heard that one before, Dollar. And I'm sure we'll hear it all again. I understand that you and the rest of the AWG - the Authentic Wrestling Gods, that is - have signed on with a company to promote the AWG as its very own entity. Its very own company. Is that correct, Dollar?
McDougal grins and looks into the camera.
Dollar McDougal: Absolutely. The time came, the price was right, and the AWG will be starting up really soon. But that's not all, O Danny Boy. I want you to spread something around to the rest of your media hacks.
Dan Griese: And what's that, Dollar?
Dollar McDougal: This Tuesday - in Boston, Massachusetts - the home of the AWG - I, Dollar McDougal, will be holding a very special press conference.
Dan Griese: A press conference?
Dollar McDougal: That's right. A press conference. And at said press conference, I will have a very special announcement that EVERYONE will want to tune in for. This announcement will pertain to the AWG's very first event, Divine Intervention. And it will change EVERYTHING that people think they know about it.
Dan Griese: Sounds like a lot to live up to...
Dollar McDougal: Just tell everyone to show up to the press conference there, Greaseball. This is going to make history. And this is going to guarantee that Dollar McDougal walks out of Divine Intervention the first ever official AWG World Champion!
McDougal smiles as the final buzzer goes off, signaling yet another win for the Boston Celtics.
Dollar McDougal: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to congratulate the team.
Tuesday, November 13
Dollar McDougal's Press Conference
3:00 PM EST